Michael Makai
Master Dom & BDSM Author
Welcome to my dungeon. You all know I love doing interviews down here and today is a special treat for me. Please help me welcome Master Michael as my guest this week. Sir, it's an honor to have you here. Thank you for taking the time to hang out with my readers. Readers, I hope you're able to learn more about the relationship aspect of the D/s relationship as you read his books. Feel free to leave him questions in the comments and he'll answer as many questions as he can. Join me as I chat with Master Michael....
Tonya: Michael, welcome and thank you for joining us this week. What makes you an expert on BDSM
relationships?
Michael: Thank you for having me. Frankly, I don’t consider myself an expert on this subject,
any more than someone who has been married for thirty-five years is an expert
on marriage. I do, however, think I may have some insights for those who may be
seeking answers to some tough questions about the kinds of relationships that
I’ve spent my entire adult life in.
Tonya: Why did you write these books?
Michael: I've always been a little disappointed that
most authors in the lifestyle focus so intently on the "whips and
chains" aspects of the fetish culture, but rarely touch on how one is
supposed to find happiness in this lifestyle and culture. Anyone can learn how
to swing a flogger or tie someone up. Few people have mastered how to find a
lifetime partner and find happiness in this, or any other lifestyle.
Tonya: What do you think is the most common
misconception about the BDSM lifestyle?
Michael: I believe that BDSM is an activity. It's
something you DO, whether it's online, in the bedroom, at your local dungeon,
or a play party. You don't necessarily have to be in a relationship with
someone to enjoy BDSM activities with them. But D/s (Domination/submission) is
a relationship dynamic. It's who you are, how you relate; where you find your
"happy place" or find joy. It's how you express your love for your
partner. You don't necessarily have to engage in kink activities to enjoy a D/s
dynamic. This simple distinction can solve a hell of a lot of the problems that
people encounter in the lifestyle... being able to separate who you are from
what you do can make a huge difference.
Tonya: How long have you been in the BDSM
lifestyle and what made you choose it?
Michael: I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for over 37
years, or basically my entire adult life. I didn't choose it, it was simply who
I have always been. I was lucky enough to learn as a teenager that there were
others like me, and to put names to the things I was already doing and feeling.
Tonya: What do you think of the 50 Shades
fiction series?
Michael: I'm not a fan. I believe the 50 Shades books
portray our lifestyle in an unrealistic and unhealthy way to the vanilla
public, and this is one of the reasons I wrote "Domination &
Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook" - to dispel some some of those
myths and misconceptions.Interview Questions
Tonya: Tell us a bit about yourself.
Michael: I'm a short, geeky, half-Asian poly Dominant who enjoys tall redheads,
great food, and good friends.
Tonya: Do you have a day job?
Michael: Nope. My day job is "Author
and BDSM Educator."
Tonya: Some of us have things we do to get into the
writing frame of mind like music, or drinks. Do you have anything special you
do to get into the writing mood?
Michael: No, I write for a living, which means I have to treat it like a regular
job. That means getting up early every
morning and sitting down to write at least 8-10 hours per day, usually seven
days a week.
Tonya: Where do you your ideas? Where do they come
from?
Michael: If you've read my books, then you know the answer to that. The books are full of stories from my real
life. Many of the people in my stories
are still in my life, and typically mortified by it all yet, at the same time,
strangely honored.
Tonya: If you’re self-published, can you tell us a
bit about that and how it’s going for you?
Michael: I am self-published. It's going
very well for me. I've actually had
talks with a few publishers who told me frankly that they wouldn't have been
able to do anything for me that I haven't already done myself, so giving up any
amount of creative control, marketing say, or income potential wouldn't really
make much sense for me, at least. Besides,
I'm a Dom. I enjoy finding my own way.
Tonya: Are you a daytime writer, night time writer,
and do you have to be alone to write?
Michael: I write in the daytime, nightime, anytime. I've even dictated an entire chapter of a
book into my phone while driving down the freeway.
Tonya: What advice would you give to new authors?
Michael: Write now, don't procrastinate.
Don't be a perfectionist. Get it
down in writing first, as flawed as it may be. Then go back and make it
better. But if you are too focused on
perfection, you allow the perfect to be the enemy of the good. Get comfortable with the 90% solution.
Tonya: We’re dying to hear about your latest book.
What can you tell us about it?
Michael: Your prospective Dominant is applying for a job. As far as you should be
concerned, that job ought to be treated as the most important job in the world.
Choosing the right person can mean a lifetime fulfilled and happy. Choosing the
wrong Dom can result in a relationship train wreck, ruined lives, and perhaps
even serious injury or death. One way to avoid the potential pitfalls and
dangers of ending up in a phony, frustrating, or dangerous BDSM relationship is
to learn effective interviewing skills and to ask the right questions while
getting to know your prospective Dominant. Make no mistake about it, this
process should be treated like a series of interviews for a critical job where
only the most qualified individuals need apply. The applicant who gets this job
will be placed in a position to potentially make life-or-death decisions with
your life hanging in the balance. “62Q: Sixty-two Questions for Your Dominant”
gives you the tools you will need to learn what you must, make good decisions
based on facts rather than feelings, and to protect yourself and your loved
ones from fakes, phonies, jerks, and predators.
Tonya: Where can our readers find you and your
books?
Michael: There are links to my books on Amazon, Kindle, Smashwords, iBooks,
Audible.com, and other retailers on my
website.
Tonya: Any Contests or giveaways?
Michael: Yes, I've giving away five signed paperback copies of my 62Q in a Goodreads
giveaway.
The BDSM relationship books
you've been waiting for.
Excerpt: This is an excerpt from Domination &
Submission:
"As you
might imagine, I was very much intrigued by this intimidating looking
contraption, which seriously resembled a prop from an old Frankenstein
movie. Since I'd never seen anything
quite like it before and, considering the fact that this was pre-internet,
pre-Google, and pre-Violet Wand, I decided to delay plugging it in until I'd
visited the local library and had a chance to figure out just what the hell it
was.
What I
learned was fascinating, to say the least.
Violet rays were produced by a dozen or more companies in the 1920s as
quack-medical devices marketed to the public as the cure-all for everything
from Aarskog Syndrome to Zygomycosis. Its high-frequency electrical stimulation
and ultra-violet emissions were claimed to be an effective treatment for
psychosis, deafness, corns and callouses, "brain fag" (seriously,
look it up!) and would even increase a woman's bust size... all for just $7 plus the cost of a draft
beer, two chili dogs, and an order of nachos.
I thought to
myself, "Mike, you are the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet! And hopefully, when you plug that baby in, it
won't explode, electrocute you, or burn your eyebrows off!"
Fortunately,
it did none of those things, and I didn't grow bigger breasts, either. For an antique piece of equipment that was
sixty years old, it was in remarkably good shape and it worked perfectly! There were two glass electrode attachments in
the box - one roughly the size and shape of a bratwurst, and the other shaped
like a hollow glass garden rake. When
the device was plugged in and turned on, the attachment would light up like a
purple neon light, buzzing and crackling with electricity, following your touch
with an aggressive ticklish sensation, and intimidating the hell out of anyone
with a healthy fear of electrocution - which, frankly, ought to be everyone.
My Parco
Super High Frequency Generator & Violet Ray was truly a beautiful thing to
behold, particularly as it crackled and glowed menacingly in in low-light
conditions. And what was the very first
thing I thought of when I turned it on?
I can't wait
to try this thing out on my girlfriend's nipples."
*The
definitive handbook on Domination and Submission (D/s) relationships
and the BDSM lifestyle. A must-read for anyone considering or curious
about non-traditional relationships within a fetish culture context.
Funny, insightful, educational, and inspiring.
Author
Michael Makai goes in-depth on Dominants, submissives, switches,
primals, and their relationship dynamics. Learn about BDSM activities,
bondage, toys, groups, protocols, and safety. This book even dares to go
where others fear to tread: Primal relationships, online BDSM
relationships, the Gorean subculture, first meetings, religion vs. kink,
and the many ways it can all go wrong.
You'll
love Michael Makai's irreverent and humorous treatment of this subject
as he gives you the benefit of his 35+ years of experience in the D/s
and BDSM lifestyles. (496 pages, Paperback)
Bio:
Michael
Makai is the author of Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship
Handbook, The Warrior Princess Submissive, 62Q: Sixty-two Questions for Your
Dominant, and The BDSM Coloring Book: An Activity Book for Kinksters with
Crayons.
Michael has
been a lifestyle Dominant for 37 years, a behind-the-scenes mentor and educator
on BDSM and D/s for decades, and has been active in dozens of fetish lifestyle
organizations in Europe and the U.S. Michael believes that the key to
understanding the lifestyle and the people in it is to be able to recognize the
very distinct differences between BDSM, which is something you do, and D/s,
which is a relationship dynamic.
He is a
full-time author, public speaker, and BDSM educator who travels extensively for
book signings and to present workshops and demonstrations on the BDSM lifestyle
and techniques. Mike is also the founder
of BDSM Tests.com and other BDSM lifestyle related forums.
Michael is a combat veteran and a retired senior
Army noncommissioned officer with over 20 years of active military service. He
has worked as a marketing consultant, banker, freelance writer, magazine
publisher, and internet broadband service provider. He is an incorrigible
word-maker-upperer who enjoys skiing, traveling, playing Scrabble, and raising
koi. He currently resides near Wichita Falls, Texas.
