Monday, December 4, 2017

Kelly Ferrall talks about life in the BDSM Community with a Contest!


Kelly Ferrall
Non-Fiction

Readers, for those of you in learning more about the BDSM lifestyle, please read as much info as you can find in order to stay safe and be in the know. This world can be dangerous for those who don't know the rules and yes, there are rules in order to stay safe, sane, and consensual. Kelly is my guest this week and offers up information on the lifestyle as he has learned it. Kelly is offering a FREE copy of his e-book so be sure to enter his contest. There is also an excerpt at the bottom. Please help me welcome Kelly by using the share buttons at the bottom so others can learn about his book.


Tonya:  Readers love to know more about their authors. Tell us a bit about yourself. 

Kelly:  I'm just a very average guy who learned about real kink and BDSM a bit late in life. Once I did, I felt like I had found the part of me that was missing. Not so much like, I wanted more kinky sex, but like, I had found people that I could genuinely call friends and talk to about anything. I also, I'll admit, liked the secret life part of it. I don't know. Maybe in a past life I was a Mason or something.
Tonya:  Do you have a day job?
Kelly:  I do. I talk about it in my book, Ignite35: My Life in the Sex Fetish Community. I doctored it a little, but I guess you could say I work with computers and in information management.
Tonya:  Some of us have things we do to get into the writing frame of mind like music, or drinks. Do you have anything special you do to get into the writing mood?
Kelly: Again, something I touch on in the book. I'm an avid fan of Latin jazz. Oddly, Jorge Ben and similar artists make me feel creative enough to write about sex. Alcohol doesn't hurt. My former mentor was found of whiskey and turned me onto a bunch of good ones. He does chastise me for mixing them, though. Basically though, I good to my computer with a cocktail, turn on some music (very low) and get to work. Every so often my sub will check on me or remind me of the time so I don't get carried away.
Tonya:  Where do you keep story ideas? Where do they come from?
Kelly: Life. Everything in my first book happened for real...more or less. I am considering writing a second about my mentor and maybe another about someone else in the community. They are the only two who know what I'm doing. But, yeah. Long story short, I write nonfiction.
Tonya:  If you’re self-published, can you tell us a bit about that and how it’s going for you?
Kelly: Poorly. My copy editor, a great writer by the name of Gregory Wayne Martin, pushed me hard to get an agent. I got a lot of rejections. They were all personalized and encouraging which he told me was a good sign. I got impatient though. I found a great cover designer (Kristyn at dropdeaddesigns.com) whom I totally adore and just uploaded it to createspace.com. So far, it's been super slow going, though I do have two reviews scheduled and am waiting for advertising space from Fetlife. We'll see. Twitter has been surprisingly helpful.
Tonya:  Are you a daytime writer, night time writer, and do you have to be alone to write?
Kelly: Night time. I work during the day. As I said, I go off into a different room, but my sub checks on me from time to time. She also appears in the book. 
Tonya:  What advice would you give to new authors?
Kelly: Well, I keep my work secret, so none. But, if I were to give advice, it'd be, get help. Talk to other people with more experience and learn from them. My editors were invaluable. One of them runs a writers group and he swears by it. 
Tonya:  Do you write better when you first have an idea of what your characters look like or do you write, then add character looks? 
Kelly:  Well, again, I write nonfiction, so I guess that doesn't apply. But, when I have created composite characters (for discretion and brevity) of utilitarian characters (to move the story along) I usually figured out what they looked like after deciding to add them to the story. Times when I've changed someone’s appearance, I usually just gave them a different haircut and left it at that.
Tonya:  What attracts you most about men?
Kelly: Strong men with good manners gain my respect quickly. If they are composed, well-groomed and know how to engage you without trying to be the Alpha male right away, I tend to respect them. If they're just some ignorant douchebag who tries too hard to be the "biggest, baddest man in the room," I tune out pretty quick. With women, I like the funny, strong ones. A nice smile and a great butt doesn't hurt. 
Tonya:  We’re dying to hear about your latest book. What can you tell us without spoiling the storyline?
Kelly:  I wrote Ignite35: My Life in the Sex Fetish Community because I hated the 50 Shades trilogy (I guess there are four now) so much and the type of people it was drawing to my community. I felt someone had to set the record straight and Sophie Morgan (who is amazing, by the way) was only doing it from a very personal perspective. I wanted people to know what getting into BDSM was really like and so I decided to be the one to take the plunge. I also decided that, it wasn't just the incredible stupidity and inaccuracies in 50 Shades that was the problem. The real community needed a slight wakeup call about some of their own problems. So, that's what I did. I wrote about real experiences, trying to show the world what it's really like in the (gasp) shadowy underworld of BDSM.
Tonya:  Is there anything else you want to tell our readers?
Kelly:  If you are genuinely interested in BDSM and kink, buy my book. It's the real thing. It's what it's really like. The fantasies definitely have their place. In fact, it's all about us living our fantasies. But there is a reality too. Some of it is not what you'd expect. Some of it is harder, some is easier, some is incredibly funny and some is...not so good. Also, if you decide to go down that path in your personal life LEARN SAFETY FIRST! Even the most benign person can mess up and hurt you if they aren't careful or educated. There are tons of great websites and groups to learn from. But, I'd say, all ego aside, my book is a pretty good start...even if I left out a good bit about aftercare. Eh...I guess there will be a next book, if for no other reason than to correct that.
Tonya:  What is your favorite night time snack?
Kelly: Seriously? I dunno. Beef jerky? 
Tonya:  Do you like toppings on your ice cream?
Kelly: Is this a kink related question or what? Not usually. I'm--surprise, surprise--pretty vanilla when it comes to all that.
Tonya:  What’s your favorite meal - Italian, Mexican, Thai, etc?
Kelly:  I guess, Mexican. Depends on what I'm in the mood for.

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BUY LINKS


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WHERE TO FIND KELLY

Website

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Read the Excerpt here


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