The last author interview had a comment on knowledge vs creativity and imagination.
Readers usually assume the author is writing from experience which is why the read is so good. As Cara Bristol pointed out, the wonderful authors who write thrillers for us have NOT killed anyone yet they keep us on the edge of our seats with all the bloody details and readers of that genre love it - but - you KNOW the author didn't have to kill someone to be able to write so well about that topic. They're good authors and that's the answer, plain and simple...they did their research into the topic they wanted to write about.
Knowing what details and emotions will pull their readers into the story and not put the book down is how they get to be so well known. The same is true for romance authors. We study the emotions, get the right pull down on paper so the reader HAS to turn the pages to find out if the love story will continue or someone's heart gets broken. The turmoil we put our characters through is the same roller coaster of emotions most of our readers have experienced, so they continue to read to see how the character came through such tragic circumstances to find love again after their heart was so badly broken.
We also like to add experiences that many readers may not be able to experience for one reason or another and yes, those may happen between two people who are in love....or NOT. The characters just want to experience the situation or activity and may not be emotionally involved with the other character. Am I making sense here?
As authors, we're able to reach out from our pages and deliciously pull you in to enjoy our story and hope you can share in the character's experience if only in your mind. Some truly want to know what it might feel like to be blindfolded during an erotic session with their lover, but they're afraid to ask, fearing their lover might think they've gone off the deep end. By reading our stories, the reader can experience what they don't in real time. This is why we write...to allow THAT reader to be a silent character in our books, to know how warm it feels to be held by a talented lover who knows exactly what we need...to be touched in just the right spot at just the right time.
This brings me to another topic I'm big on....asking your partner for what you want. I hear too often what others say...'I can't ask him/her to do that, they'll think I'm kinky!' Is that it? If you're so close to that partner, why haven't you discussed what each of you would like to experience? At least try it once, would that be so bad? Maybe your partner is waiting for YOU to broach the subject so they won't have to. Try it...all they can say is no but they'll still love you. Maybe you just need to leave a book laying around for them to pick up and read.
Okay, I've gone off on a tangent once again, sorry...hope this has helped you to understand that erotic authors don't always write about their own experiences. What we do write about is bringing that experience into your mind so you can also enjoy it with our characters if you can't enjoy it in real time! Happy reading my friends!